If you've ever watched the Duggar's TV show, then you've probably seen them getting out of their bus in a long procession while bystanders stare. And no wonder people stare. The Duggars have an abnormally large family. But they're not the only ones. A family named the Andersons from my church is gigantic. Unlike the Duggars, however, most of their children are adopted. They've adopted kids from multiple countries, at one time adopting an entire family, minus the parents. This brings up a question in my mind: is that family and others like it really a family? Or is it an orphanage?
An orphanage collects an unwanted child usually after the death of that child's parents. That's exactly what this family has done on multiple occasions. They simply find some kids that need adopting and adopt them, integrating them into an already bloated family. I don't think this is all bad. No doubt, the kids are better off than they were before. But do these parents really have the emotional support that these kids need?
These kids have moved from another country. They are already experiencing cultural shock. And then they get added to an abnormally large family. Cultural shock is bad enough without the added confusion of being in one of America's freakiest families. Instead of quietly transitioning into a normal family (and I know that term is relative), these kids are forced to undergo the extra emotional exhaustion of having to put up with something like twenty siblings.
After perhaps being abused their whole lives, these kids are thrown into a mega family that is really more like an orphanage. Dealing with emotionally damaged kids is no easy matter. And that difficulty is compounded when there are about ten adopted children and ten biological children in that family. I simply cannot see how children who have undergone perhaps horrible things can ever thrive in such a family. Of course, to some degree, the kids decide how well they thrive. It's just better when the conditions in which they live are conducive to healing and not confusion.
And then there's the aspect of time. Parents only have so much time. Even parents with just a few kids have trouble spending the amount of time they need with their kids. Parents with twenty children have literally no way of doing this. They may care for their children better than some parents, but by having so many children, these parents guarantee that they won't have an adequate amount of time to spend with each child.There are two parents who divide there attention among twenty children.I cannot imagine these parents spending very much time with their children on a one on one basis regularly..
As a result, I think some of the children are attention starved. It's just something I've noticed about them. It's not all of the children but a few noticeably. Like one kid latching onto a conversation that really seemed stupid. And I've noticed some of the girls hiding behind their younger siblings because they're really awkward associating with normal people. The older girls also get to mother a few children, which is a pretty big sacrifice for teenage girls. I guess they function as the hired help in the orphanage except that they're not hired. They have to help with their family. That's what good Christian girls from homeschooling families do.
All in all, I don't disapprove of what they're doing. The kids are better of than they might be otherwise. I just question whether families like that are really families and not orphanages.
An orphanage collects an unwanted child usually after the death of that child's parents. That's exactly what this family has done on multiple occasions. They simply find some kids that need adopting and adopt them, integrating them into an already bloated family. I don't think this is all bad. No doubt, the kids are better off than they were before. But do these parents really have the emotional support that these kids need?
These kids have moved from another country. They are already experiencing cultural shock. And then they get added to an abnormally large family. Cultural shock is bad enough without the added confusion of being in one of America's freakiest families. Instead of quietly transitioning into a normal family (and I know that term is relative), these kids are forced to undergo the extra emotional exhaustion of having to put up with something like twenty siblings.
After perhaps being abused their whole lives, these kids are thrown into a mega family that is really more like an orphanage. Dealing with emotionally damaged kids is no easy matter. And that difficulty is compounded when there are about ten adopted children and ten biological children in that family. I simply cannot see how children who have undergone perhaps horrible things can ever thrive in such a family. Of course, to some degree, the kids decide how well they thrive. It's just better when the conditions in which they live are conducive to healing and not confusion.
And then there's the aspect of time. Parents only have so much time. Even parents with just a few kids have trouble spending the amount of time they need with their kids. Parents with twenty children have literally no way of doing this. They may care for their children better than some parents, but by having so many children, these parents guarantee that they won't have an adequate amount of time to spend with each child.There are two parents who divide there attention among twenty children.I cannot imagine these parents spending very much time with their children on a one on one basis regularly..
As a result, I think some of the children are attention starved. It's just something I've noticed about them. It's not all of the children but a few noticeably. Like one kid latching onto a conversation that really seemed stupid. And I've noticed some of the girls hiding behind their younger siblings because they're really awkward associating with normal people. The older girls also get to mother a few children, which is a pretty big sacrifice for teenage girls. I guess they function as the hired help in the orphanage except that they're not hired. They have to help with their family. That's what good Christian girls from homeschooling families do.
All in all, I don't disapprove of what they're doing. The kids are better of than they might be otherwise. I just question whether families like that are really families and not orphanages.
No comments:
Post a Comment