Shunning

I've been going to my church for seventeen years. That's a long time. In that time, I made a few friends here and there but no lasting connections. At first I thought it was just me, and I'll admit, it could be partially me. Then I realized I wasn't the only one. The church, consciously or not, picks and chooses exactly who it will accept. I didn't make the cut.

Just last week, an elderly gentlemen from my church died. While he was alive, I noticed him a few times and he seemed really lonely. At meals, people didn't really sit by him unless it was necessary. He seemed like a fairly nice guy. He traveled from a different city each week to help with Bible clubs when they were going on. He came to speak to groups of kids at the church to explain things about creation. Apparently, though, nobody cared enough to sit by him at meals and get to know him.

I understand that people like being in their comfort zones. I am human. But this guy traveled from a distant city and rented a hotel room for the weekend several weeks in a row just so he could help with Bible clubs. The least people could have done was thank him and at least try to get to know him. I realize that I'm as guilty as anyone else, but our church as a whole has done this before, probably long before I came around.

In my experience, I had a hard time connecting because I wasn't into football like the other guys. Yes, that's pretty much the sum total of their conversations with only occasional deviations. Trying to sit by them was pointless and awkward. On occasion, they felt the need to talk to me about other things. I always got the feeling, though, that they were intimidated by me. I have no earthly reason why.

I'm not a difficult person to talk to. Perhaps I'm not the most loquacious person, but it seems like I always have felt shunned at church, whether because of me I don't know. I guess it has to be me to some extent. I think the big thing is that my personality just doesn't lend itself to talking mostly of football and studying the Bible academically. I wish to do something more meaningful than simply going to church and trying to learn all I can. Learning is good, but it isn't an end in and of itself. I honestly can't and don't wish to talk sports. Maybe the whole situation is my fault. Maybe I need to become an expert on sports so I can socialize at church.